Friday, September 08, 2006

` 080906..Friday..

Morning woke up wash up jiu go eat breakfast..than after tat went online..than go prepare jiu go out le..mit qw than take lrt to bangkit..bbq held at constance condo.their church de..than reach there..erm..the event..ok lo..xi guan le ba..cause is jus like when we GB go to church..than after tat 3 soemthing they jiu start eat some of the ready-to-eat food..than after tat zai start bbq..foods were alright..anyway..tks for all the preparation ba..than 7 something jiu leave le..don wanna stay le..i very tired le..than somemore i still wan go find jobs..than asked them if they wanna go back nt..than they go wif mi lo..than meet vinz on lrt..than took back to cck..than went to food court..than vinz n charmaine had their dinner..than after tat went to walk.than went to 4th floor..erm..than bla bla bla..than after tat mi n qw went to find jobs..than they 2 went to find their entertainment...haiz..really hope jobs will b coming my way..i really cannot take it le..i relaly had stupid thoughts..being so stupid to tink of all tat..haiz..but i reallyvery tired of it le..i really cant tink of anything else..i noe it isnt a right way to tink of it..sry.i'll get it out of mi..haiz..even now ask mi go b maid i also will..haiz..than after tat went home..b4 tat dad called n ask mi to buy an eye-drop home.cause he nids it..but i don even had any money..really very bu shuang n feel so sad lo..last time wateva they wan they jus call n it will b delivered home..but now..haiz..than called kor.he still at plaza singapura n wont b back so fast.than call hy she no pick up phone.tink she working ba,.haiz.the eye-drop is jus $3.30..i cant even afford it now..jus wat had happen to yu shian..aiyo..last time i still can buy a dozen of it..but now..even a drop also cant afford lo..haiz...than also don noe who to borrow money from..i really feel so paiseh to borrow money from someone..but at times really don noe wat to do..haiz..everyday i jus survive in the world without money..it hurtx n shuckx...haiz..jus hope it ends fast..than bo bian go home.sry dad..than go bath..online..rest n thought bout tis n tat..haiz..

Might nt b a pleasant day for u recently..sry if i were really so useless..sry if i were nt always there for u when u nid mi..but mayb i'm only tat u cant feel ot or wat..or mayb in ur memory..i'm nt..but tis ok,..i noe i've nv success in making u feel gifted..i'm always nt there..u might feel furious.disappointed.angry.etc etc emotion..but i'm affected too..haiz..i might nt really understand u..no one understands anyone..but i noe u do when u r needed to b understandable..u nv fail to do tat ba.,.now i'm having some crisis..i really don noe how to pop it to u.but tink u also roughly noe bout it le..haiz..mayb u now might jus let mi b..let mni leave my own..let mi settle everything by myself n nt to find u anymore..nt to bother u anymore..n jus simply leave u alone,,tats wat u hopes..but so fast as i noe..n u might noe too,.its impossible ba,somemore now i'm wif some prob.i really don noe how to handle le,,.u might leave..but i might nt,.noe wateva i gonna sae will nv make u b pleasant wif mi..haiz..but i jus wan to let u noe.as as so far as i noe..i gonna let u noe bout my prob sooner or later..its jsu a matter of time n ans u goin to gib mi back...but wateva ur decision is..i'll respect...haiz..

[confused][sad][many many emotion][gone case][thoughts of stupidness][etc..][etc..]

How i wish i were to get drown one day jus when i went swimming..but i noe i cant jus leave like tat..cause there is still lots of things waiting for mi to complete it..waiting for mi to endure thru..waiting mi to take up the challenge..haiz..n many friends waiting for mi to go concern of..waiting for mi to cheer them up..b by them..waiting for mi to pei them here n there..i'll endure thru..though is really xin ku..nv eva felt so xin ku..haiz..but i noe..no one will eva go smoothly in the lifetime..everyone will definitely have up n down..tats wat i goin thru now..tats y everyone is equal.no one is perfect..tats y i feel fair enough for mi to endure thru as it will also happen to every single one.one of the day..

*Mizz the day when we were together having fun.enduring every single unhappinest /happinest together..toking to each other.complaining tis n tat..gossiping..its fun..its a enjoyment..is something tat might jus even cheer mi up the whole day or even a few hrs..really..haiz..i jus wan to find it back as time pass..is it possible ? depends ba,..but no matter wat..i wil tink it is possible even if one day it is definitely gone case..no one eva changes my mind set..really miss u so much..haiz..*

Tracy...

Guardian Angel Paradise @ 10:52 PM

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