Thursday, November 16, 2006
`
DO U ALL NOE HOW XIN KU I AM NOW..DO U ALL NOE WAT PROB I'M FACING ?!?! DO U ALL UNDERSTAND MY FEELING N THOUGHTS..I FEEL SO STRESS UP..WORK KENA SCOLD..CUM HOME ALSO KENA SCOLD..JUS WAT IS IT..PLS LA..CAN U ALL JUS TREAT IT AS DOIN MI A FAVOUR..FEEL FOR MY FEELIN SOMETIMES CAN ?! DO TIS NOT RITE DO TAT NT RITE..THAN DO WAT RITE..EVERYDAY WORK N WORK TRY NT TO TINK OF ANYTHING.BUT IN THE END..PROB CAME OUT AGAIN N AGAIN..WTF...I M REALLY UP TO MY LIMITATION LE LO..PPL WHO R CLOSE TO MI NOE TAT I WONT SCOLD WTF WITHOUT ANY PURPOSE DE LO..I WILL ONLY SCOLD TAT TO THE PERSON I DISLIKE THE MOST N WHICH THE PERSON HAD CLIMB TO MY LIMITATION.. I'M REALLY REALLY REALLY VERY STRESS....ARGH....CAN I REALLY BEG EVERYONE TO B MORE TOLERATE TOWARDS MI..PLS GIV MI SPACE TO BREATH...ARGH................................
Guardian Angel Paradise @
11:09 AM
++
`
Bloggy Bloggy..I'm really very stress out..work..friends..n the suroundings..met wif too much prob everyday..I drank after work jus now..mixed alcohol..feel so xin ku at mrt..feel like vomiting..n jus can kip telling myself to control,..feel really no energy..I noe i cant take alcohol drinks..but everytime when i drank means i did have a serious prob n feel like avoiding it..wat i can tell everyone is i drank for fun..but it is nt.. I've really been really stress up..really..I cried..i feel vex..everyday..everynite..I cried during work..i cried b4 slp..i jus feel so fan..really..too much prob le..how i wish i can throw away every single unhappinest thoughts..but it is coming again n again..sry for treating quite coldly everyday every nite..listen to ur phone calls is wat i everyday hope..but i jus don noe y i really feel very bad mood..wheneva i bad mood i don feel like toking.jus feel like being calm first..especially to u..cause i noe when i nt in the mood i will vent mi anger on anyone who toks to mi..i tried to control it by keeping quite silent..i'm really scare to raise voice on u..i don wan to..sometimes i relaly don noe wat to do..i drank n drank n drank..how i wish to hear ur voice jus now..i waited for ur calls even though at tat moment i don feel like toking..but i don noe y i jus feel like listening to ur voice..I don noe y u find it hard to communicate wif mi,.u cant communicate wif jj i can inderstand..but i don noe y it is mi..we contact everyday..is it b'cos of my attitude..i don noe ..i really don noe..,mayb at tis time others might b more free than mi to acc u..n have closer contact wif u..but i only can contact u when free time..aiya..i really don noe la..Do tis nt right do tat also nt rite..i work n work jus for tat final purpose..i work n work to try to let time pass..i work n work nt b'cos i wan to neglect u..i work n work also thinking of where to go during my off day wif u..yes..we might b distancing from each other slowly..its true b'cos i really can said tat i really had no time to pei u..really i don..B4 i start working..i knew tis day wld cum..haiz..i really don noe wat to do le..i hope all tis is jus a dream..a test in a living hell..which wld let mi feel some of the sufferin..n let mi out once i've been through all the test..Yes..i suffered..i endured..i tried..My very very best..-Really very sry-Tracy..
Guardian Angel Paradise @
12:41 AM
++
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
`
Long long time no blog le..hmm..rather miss my blog ya..many feelin n thoughts not written down..everyday jus kip inside..everyday so early go out so late cum back..don even haven the time to rest how can it b possible to have the time to blog..lolz..Hmm...recently still ok ba..so far so gd..i tink so la..haiz..many up n downs..but really sometimes bother mi till i wan go suicide ar..feel so pek cek sometimes..my up n down nt everyone noes..or rather nt let them noe so nt to let them worry..but sometimes i really cnanot tahan liao than after work go home if they haven turn in than i will automatically break down in front of them..store too long liao than really damn sad liao..than see love ones sure will break down infront of them de..at least i can feel the warmth n luv from them..Friends r too bz for mi to reach for..other than HIM..the only him,,.lolz..He is my 24 hrs doctor..i'm almost sick everyday..so i'm use to it to "visit" his clinic often..His medicine is so powerful..jus his simple facial expression can make mi cheer up..jus his simple warmth hand can make my whole body warm n make my heart cum into a piece again..n jus his shoulder make mi feel tat i'm being held up once again after having a great fall..yes..its him..the only him...Wheneva i'm down i jus feel lyk him being by my side..nt anyone else..mayb yes..but i jus wish everytime he is the first to reach mi side..haiz..i'm sry..i noe u ar also facing lots of prob although u r staying home almost everyday..but i'm sry i don have much time to kip u acc..hope u understand..He is de one erasing all the unhappinest of mine..Haiz..now i finally noe tat singaporean is really rich seh..almost all go ajisen eat de all use master card..or visa or wateva card de la..of course nt phone card la..lol.than very less ppl pay by cash..if is pay by cash than it will b $100 note or $50..lolz..rich ppl..than so many ppl so bear to eat a meal for over 20 or 30 dollar..lolz..Today saw pan ling ling the mediacorp artist n her whole family..lolz..manager gave thm 10% discount..lolz..than..wat else.....hmm...oh ya..met quite a few stupid kuku customer..idiot seh,..think they r only the customer in the shop when there r still long queue outside waiting to b sit..than hurry tis hurry tat..they also have to wait for their order to b ready de ma..nan dao they wan eat uncook noodle or food meh..siaox..if rush time than see many ppl than don cum tis kid restaurant eat la..go those foodcourt upstaris than can sit there whole day without waiting for ur food to b serve..somemore self service lo..lolz..haiz..but CUSTOMER R ALWAYS RIGHT..tats the thing i most unhappy abt lo..idiot..hiaz..though i sae so much..but customer r still rite..no matter how much we argued..even when sometimes is customer de wrong than also we kena scold by kitchen n manager..haiz..nonid further explanation de..cause they will nt give it a damn lo..haiz..no choice,.working is like tat de..so....bear wif it lo..everydya jus can tell myself to endure thru endure thru..everyday as long as i noe he's there i have tat slimmer strength to endure thru till closing..can u imagine workng from early in the morning..do opening of the shop till closing of the shop..how stress it is..how difficult it is..a machine will also break down la..nt sae a human being..hiaz..there's still many unhappinest ba..jus tat it is almost forgotten..too much to b written down,..so jus let it pass n start anew..haiz..endure ba..tink tis shld b the way of working ba..How i wish somtimes i cld jus open up ur heart n mind to see wat u actually r tinking..Pls don cum back hurting mi once more.since u noe u hurtz mi once..n since u noe i'm very soft hearted..i'm easily touch by any nice wording..nv cum back to mi..y is it always like tat..the person i hope for i wish for will nv b there,..whereas the person i on even wan to care abt is there..haiz..don noe la..i'm nt goin to let myself regret anymore..no more..I've said many times..LOOK CAREFULLY INTO UR OWN HEART..ASK UR HEART WAT EXACTLY U WAN..Tired tired tired..damn tired..stress over customer complain..when i did no wrong..if i really in wrong i sure will admit n be scolded..but the prob is i didn't..haiz..than cashier thingy..losing money everyday..every day closing when we count the final amt there is large amt of losses..haiz..than manager sae from tomoro onwards if tis continue to goes on than we all really have to pay le..divide into all the ppl who can b incharge of the cashier..haiz..really had to b extra careful..than somemore sometimes have to see the customer face..see the kitchen chief face..see friend face..Vinz..sry..nt i don wan tok to u..is jus tat my batt is really low..than somemore i nid to settle something wif mi manager..haiz..i'm really stress out..sry if i were to have attitude..i really cannot control sometimes..haiz..[Love n Miss all of u..i really do..][Take care everyone..]
[Stay in contact ya..muackz..]
Tracy..4eva the only one.. oO Pls b there still to hold my hands n guide mi thru.I nid U Oo
Guardian Angel Paradise @
12:18 AM
++
