Bloggy Bloggy..I'm really very stress out..work..friends..n the suroundings..met wif too much prob everyday..I drank after work jus now..mixed alcohol..feel so xin ku at mrt..feel like vomiting..n jus can kip telling myself to control,..feel really no energy..I noe i cant take alcohol drinks..but everytime when i drank means i did have a serious prob n feel like avoiding it..wat i can tell everyone is i drank for fun..but it is nt.. I've really been really stress up..really..I cried..i feel vex..everyday..everynite..I cried during work..i cried b4 slp..i jus feel so fan..really..too much prob le..how i wish i can throw away every single unhappinest thoughts..but it is coming again n again..sry for treating quite coldly everyday every nite..listen to ur phone calls is wat i everyday hope..but i jus don noe y i really feel very bad mood..wheneva i bad mood i don feel like toking.jus feel like being calm first..especially to u..cause i noe when i nt in the mood i will vent mi anger on anyone who toks to mi..i tried to control it by keeping quite silent..i'm really scare to raise voice on u..i don wan to..sometimes i relaly don noe wat to do..i drank n drank n drank..how i wish to hear ur voice jus now..i waited for ur calls even though at tat moment i don feel like toking..but i don noe y i jus feel like listening to ur voice..I don noe y u find it hard to communicate wif mi,.u cant communicate wif jj i can inderstand..but i don noe y it is mi..we contact everyday..is it b'cos of my attitude..i don noe ..i really don noe..,mayb at tis time others might b more free than mi to acc u..n have closer contact wif u..but i only can contact u when free time..aiya..i really don noe la..Do tis nt right do tat also nt rite..i work n work jus for tat final purpose..i work n work to try to let time pass..i work n work nt b'cos i wan to neglect u..i work n work also thinking of where to go during my off day wif u..yes..we might b distancing from each other slowly..its true b'cos i really can said tat i really had no time to pei u..really i don..B4 i start working..i knew tis day wld cum..haiz..i really don noe wat to do le..i hope all tis is jus a dream..a test in a living hell..which wld let mi feel some of the sufferin..n let mi out once i've been through all the test..Yes..i suffered..i endured..i tried..My very very best..
ang yu shian ; tracy
tracyang90@hotmail.com
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