//* love

Monday, April 23, 2007

Morning art..hmm..Change my theme..at 1st is "Colour Of Life"..than change to "My life"..than lastly finalist on "ME"..lolz..cause mi n mrs tay sit down there tok n discuss abt lots of things..than the manipulation all tat..than in the end still feel doin abt myself is still de best..cause i cant really focus on my friends tat much..i noe myself fully well than knowing them..n i really cant focus much n do much on them..so in conclusion we decided to do on myself..hope tis will b finalist theme..n hope i can do well n score well for it..Took mi 4 periods to do n dicuss on my art wif teacher..1st time lo..lolz..before recess i'm in the art room all the while..lolz.

Than after recess..Mr yeo didnt cum..tink sick dao very yan zong le ba..than 2 period no lesson..than were chatting n having fun wif the boys in class..feel my class is becuming more n more united..but kicking n leaving out some of them..OF COURSE DE LA !! not only mi agree on tat lo..the guys too lo..nvm..

During history class..jus 1 period..done nth much too..chatting away..than goin thru some ans n all tat..

English gt back our common test 3..than gt 17/30..nt tat well done..but at least gt improvement..yup yup..haha..than done some corrections n the whole day of lesson is gone n finished jus like tat..haha..so happy..

Waited long for the whole day lesson to b over..haha..y lei ?! cause planned to go for a movie..woohoo..been waitin n hoping the time pass faster..lolz..quite a long time since i watch le ba..n craving to watch tat show..<200>..as i heard tat it is quite a nice show..than walked to lot 1 wif valerie n vincent..than she went home n we went to watch the show at 3pm..the movie was great..really..learnt something from tis movie..yup..=x..guys r probably de same ba,.lolz..no la..anyway..nice show..than after tat were so paiseh..feel like eating ajisen for quite a long time le ba..but don dare sae..than also don noe if he wan to eat or not..than asked him..how wish he will sae ok..than i'll b relieve liao..lolz..but the ans is don noe don noe..hmm..nt an ans i wan..but as my friends they all noe i hate making decision..everytime they decide n i follow..n everyone happy..haiz..but than after tat..i okok lo..walked to ajisen there..than i noe he is playing wif mi.."eee.."as usual..i noe..but i m sensitive.jus feel so..don noe how to sae la..the feelin is like..i already so ps liao..don noe whether u will wan go not..than ask u wan eat where u don noe,,.than i ps walk there hope u would jus smilex n sae ok..to u..eee is alright..but at tat moment to mi is nt ba..jus wanna sae out how i felt..if u were to see my blog..i understand fully well u'll get angry,,nvm..normal reaction..i jus wanna sae wateva feelin in my blog..tats all..than my temper is like tat de lo..once i'm "scare" tio..at tat moment i somehow felt so ps..don noe how to express..than i can only shut up n walk on..mind was so blank..tinkin of wat to do..don noe where to go le..than today nan de no nid so early go home..in sch still thought of goin to catch a gd meal without rushing home once..as mummy is goin out at nite..n told her once i'll b out abit later than usual..haiz..n it is jus ruin like tat..nvm la..than went to ntuc..walk here n there jus to delay some time..hopin everything wld b fine by then..than i asked again..u gt pissed off{of course.normal reaction] by then le..than fine lo../my normal reaction is fine..go home then..we'll walk n go no where if we continues like tat..volcano might jus erupt lo..than jiu go home lo..how i felt like crying..don noe y..too sensitive le..guilty ?? probably..I've apologize le..acceptin or not is up to u..pls hate mi if u wan ba..makes mi more relieve..i wont b able to giv u the right attitude everytime..especially recently..i tried..but..i'm sry..

I don wanna giv u attitude de..u tink i wan ? i m gettin more n more sensitive to wateva u do..jus a normal reaction tat cums out..i also wan control..but u noe it is relaly hard ? i don noe..as u change..i expect more n more from u..i hate it..but i jus feel man zhu gan when i see u change one by one,.i hurt u i noe..but i also don like lo..as i told u..my emotion n feelin recently r swingin..i don wan to affect anyone of u..i said b4..my feelin change..my sensitivity is very strong..my aim n goal is higher n higer..i hate tat..i hate it..i told u once..for a person to love others..she must start to love herself first..ya..i do..but wheneva things happen n hurt someone..i hate myself lots..yes i do,..i really does..wat sucky attitude yu shian is giving..wat kind of knn charcarter she is showing..y cant she jus b like some other gals who cld take up wateva blow..hold back their tears..accept the fun n jokes..accept others doin..etc etc..y cant she do it ? how i wish n envy othet gals when i see their strong power in them..i m anti social..i likes being alone..i like to tink myself..i like to follow my own ways..i like to rule myself..i tink very highly of myself..tats y i m fated to fall one day..without even anyone to call an ambulance for mi..cause by then no one will eva likes mi..no one will even tink of mi..no one will cares abt mi..tats all..different feelins n emotion kip coming,..i ren n ren n ren..but i really cant stand it too long..i cry wheneva i feel like..cause too many things is stored inside for too long n once a little things aggitated mi i burst everything out..i m not a strong gal inside..nv..since young..i may b a cry baby..but i noe i'll feel better after tat..i might b hard on the ouitside...n an eye sore of others..but deep down do u all noe how to deal wif mi ? do u all noe wat i tinking ? do u all noe how hurt n regret when i noe i hurt u all ? saying sry sincerely out of my mouth is relaly really hard..u noe how much courage do i nid to do everything ? haiz.shall jus end here..

Friends out there..Accept mi for who i m if u can..if not..i urge u to leave mi..i relaly scare i'll jus break all ur bones one day,..noe my character..noe my attitude..I M HOT TEMPERED !! I have a F***ing Attitude for u all to deal wif..b prepared to go thru all tis as a friend of mine.if nt..leave ba..till now..i only met one who can truly deal n convince mi..but in the end..tat person gave up too..yup..i'm so hard to deal wif..n tats all..

Guardian Angel Paradise @ 5:45 PM